Is there a maker or purveyor of spot paintings on your holiday shopping list? Charm that special someone with these joyful and heart-warming gifts!
The spot painting maker and purveyor can get cozy under this adorable spotted umbrella from Lisa Perry. There is no better ambiance than a gentle early evening rain shower for sharing intimate thoughts about potential buyers of spot paintings, the happy or unhappy fates of certain spot paintings and whether or not to continue producing spot paintings.
Your spot painting maker surely delights in seeing his influence on the advertising industry, and if these ads for Downy in-wash scent boosters haven’t taken a page from your spot painting maker’s playbook, we don’t know what “appropriation” means! (No need to sue, though!) But why just slap the ad on the wall and give oneself a congratulatory pat on the back? Making and selling spot paintings may perhaps be a messy business, but maker and purveyor alike can smell fresh as a daisy with these detergents. You might have a tough time choosing between “Fresh”–“A fresh, feisty scent that just won't quit”–and “Lush”–“An indulgent scent that keeps on going.” "Just won't quit" is likely fitting however, depending upon how many spot paintings your spot painting maker has made, and how many your purveyor has sold, their activities may not necessarily qualify as "fresh." But maybe a world, or a market, has been "indulgent" of them. And maybe they "keep on going" with spots! Go with “Lush.”
If your spot painting maker’s studio isn’t big enough for this awesome, giant toy, try your purveyor’s space. And if that isn’t big enough, there is a place in Bermondsey that can definitely handle it.
Does your spot painting maker have a propensity for infusing seemingly saccharine subject matter, such as cute and fuzzy lambs, with the theme of death? Has that always reminded you and your special spot-someone of Hamlet’s mother’s “sweets to the sweet” speech at Ophelia’s funeral? A delicious spotted Martha Stewart cake could be just the thing.
“It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Spot Painting-esque Bikini / That she wore for the first time today.” Well, sort of. Bring spots into the boudoir with this spicy ensemble.
Roland Barthes said “Death of the Author.” But not you! You say, “Author, how about a big, wet, sloppy kiss?” with the gift of this delightful book.
Here’s an idea for when your spot painter gets tired of spots. Take a bunch of insects. Cut off the wings. And glue them all over a canvas. It may sound a little artsy-craftsy, but it really can be a very soothing and meditative activity. And it’s something you can do together, something that can bring you closer during the holiday season.
Despite appearances, making spot paintings can't be easy; neither can selling them. That’s why a Lady Macbeth just might be the perfect gift for your spot maker or purveyor. Someday, the maker may decide, “I don’t want to make spots anymore,” and an apt remark will be needed to mark the occasion. As for the purveyor, all shows of spot paintings come to an end, usually in February, and your purveyor will want some bon mot for the moment when the spots are swept from the walls. Press play on this Lady Macbeth, and she will supply you with the perfect adieu.
A spot painter who also does the whole God-is-dead motif, might be self-conscious about having arrived very late to that particular party; after all, Thomas Hardy got there around a hundred years ago. Comfort them, and tickle their funny bone, with this hilarious skit from Canadian comedy troupe Kids in the Hall. It concerns a woman’s threat to bring her god, named Spot, to the dog show in Mavisville, “the toupee capital of the world.” “No one names their god Spot,” says one of the characters in disbelief. And yet, in the final scene, a crowd of people kneels and prays to Spot. Ha ha ha! Happy godless holidays, spot painting makers and purveyors.